Untold Tale of a Loner



Personal Statement for Urgent Mental Health Support

Subject: Request for Comprehensive Mental Health and ADHD Support

My name is Tlokotsi Potloane, I am in mid twenties and I am seeking urgent professional help. I am struggling with complex mental health challenges, substance dependence, and ADHD, which I cannot manage alone. I am submitting this statement to provide a full account of my situation, past behaviors, achievements, struggles, and immediate needs.


1. Past Harmful Actions and Legal History

During my mid-teens, I engaged in actions that harmed others based on my belief that life was unjust and that some individuals were causing harm to society.

One of these incidents led to my arrest into underage or minors rehabilitation, juvenile, which my family knows about or precisely majority of the people; other similar incidents remain undisclosed and are just stacked up skeletons in the closet. 

I understand these actions were dangerous and illegal, legally I accounted for but psychologically I'm yet to let it go. However, I am committed to preventing any future harm and seek professional intervention to ensure my safety and the safety of others as I have seen how much some people value me and see me as a human being like everybody else. That has ignited my fight back.

2. Substance Use and Coping

I have used various narcotics, including amphetamines, alcohol, cannabis, crack, and other drugs from within household health care or pharmaceutical companies to indulge in self diagnosis of my yet to be medically approved ADHD issue. 

Narcotics do not make me brilliant; they only prolong access to my natural mental sharpness and finesse, which I believe comes from God. Combined, these temporarily allow me to cope and maintain a façade of normalcy.

I conceal my usage behind a self-righteous personality so others believe I am fine, despite being unable to function without being high most of the times. Thus often, I disassociate from reality at critical moments when people need me, then obviously, I disappoint and make them lose faith in me. 

I previously received therapy for substance abuse at Mohlomi, but my sessions were unfinished due to lack of finances and support. As my outward personality, remained solid and unbothered thus my struggles remaining stealth, eating me inside gradually. In the what's the use, if prior and after every session I'm always stimulated? 

3. ADHD and Neurological Challenges

My ADHD became comprehensive in my mid-teens and has worsened over time.

I was on the path to a medical diagnosis and prescribed support (ketamines were preferred), but my busy schedule and life pressures prevented completion. And my weaknesses, addiction weight too. I account to all the irresponsibilities that derailed that huge step I had taken. 

My condition, the possibility of ADHD, affects my ability to complete tasks, focus, and maintain healthy routines without substance use. Basically, I'm drug dependent irrespective of how much dosage I might consume recklessly or cautiously, it's only God's will that I have achieved some of the triumphs of societal linear progressions. 

4. Academic and Professional Context

Despite severe challenges, I have pursued education and professional achievements:

  • Diploma in Computer Systems Engineering
  • Top-up BEng in Computer Engineering (currently completing)
  • Samsung Innovation Campus - AI and Data Analytics Certification
  • Cisco Certification in Cybersecurity 
  • HVACR.EDU Certification
  • Hackathon wins and scholarships

I face antagonism and lack of acknowledgment from lecturers, peers, professional acquaintances, family members, and close associates, or maybe I'm just being paranoid. Nonetheless, some of these stems from my own behavior: being carefree, reckless, unconventional, or appearing not to care which obviously come out as a delinquency and uncultured. 

I have read extensively in metaphysics and the Bible, and I have harnessed this knowledge and wisdom as coping mechanisms. Despite adversaries and frequent misfortunes, I continue to achieve, though these successes often feel meaningless and stupid, as they are fuelled by selling myself to substance abuse. 

5. Social Isolation and Personal Struggles

I live in isolation and struggle with basic self-care. I often do not eat or bathe properly; I only maintain appearances for façade purposes. 

I am partially financially independent in some aspects, but much of my income is used to sustain substance use, including narcotics, cigarettes, alcohol, and junk food. The agony of seeing burning the money I worked for, sometimes given to me by my parents or siblings is always fresh. Hence, every session has to go with some sort of academic or entrepreneurial tasks, to sort of give me hope that one day, it will pay off earlier so I stop or I can afford treatment. 

I feel constant judgment from family and society, which drives manipulative or self-protective behaviors. As we all know, reality never happens exactly like we planned, misalignments always expose my weaknesses thus ones insight, can utilize them to make themselves feel better than me by gossiping about me, throwing shade at me whilst smiling in my face. But I have grown tolerant, but I wish to be free of these low vibrational struggles, honestly. 

Despite my efforts to succeed academically and professionally, misfortunes continue to follow me, and I cannot enjoy a normally life. If you know me, you will know what I mean by this. Even if I'm not the instigator, it always spans out as if I had conjured the adverse situations. 

6. Current Needs and Goals

I am seeking:

  1. Comprehensive mental health assessment and ongoing therapy
  2. Medical evaluation and treatment for ADHD
  3. Support for substance dependence and safe alternatives for coping
  4. Structured guidance for self-care, daily routines, and rebuilding personal stability

I want to change for the better, regain control of my life, and prevent harm to myself or others. I am committed to working with mental health professionals and following any recommended treatment plan.


7. Commitment and Closing

I acknowledge the seriousness of my past actions and the challenges I face. I am fully committed to change, rehabilitation, and living safely and responsibly. I submit this statement in full honesty, recognizing the urgency of my situation and my need for immediate professional intervention.

Signed,

Tlokotsi Potloane

14/09/25


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